Really…who does? If you say ‘yes, you should care,’ I am no longer going to speak to you.

But wait…I should probably give the reason that I have been irked by something I read. Otherwise I will just sound like a bitter, angry old man that feeds squirrels in the park and yells at kids that cross his yard.

And because of that, I had better actually open up as to why I am peeved today.

So here is the general reason, or at least a discussion starter, that I found myself custom-making voodoo dolls last night in an attempt to rectify my malady.

Do you really care the Melissa Rycroft is engaged?

And if you just asked ‘who the hell is Melissa Rycroft’ you get extra special friend points from me. They can be redeemed at any local Target or Jiffy-Lube. But they only last for six months so don’t eff around with them and let them expire.

Again, on one of my weird late night journeys through the Interspace, I stumbled across another article that made me say ‘What?’

I had no idea who this person was and why we should care that she might be getting married. So I clicked on the link, because as you know me, I am a constant searcher for new and useless information. And then I read the article, which you would question why I would do that considering that I didn’t know who this person was and probably had no earthly reason to actually waste a few minutes finding out. Why did I read the article? It is simple. I am a moron.

After a tedious 96 seconds, I sat back and made a decision. I decided to not only say ‘what’ again but I also decided to become a little perturbed and stare blankly in amazement at the sheer stupidity of the story.

It turns out that this Melissa person is a jilted humanoid from ‘The Bachelor.’ Which means she was on a reality TV show. Which means I automatically don’t care about what she does. Unless she is curing cancer, heart disease, some other disease, getting my movie made, or that her tears might cure baldness, I could give a flying ducky less who this person is and why she would warrant front page material on MSN.

For shame, MSN, for shame.

Then I read that she was also on ‘Dancing With The Stars.’ Which means I care even less.

I actually began to care so little about this story and this person that by comparison I must be a huge New York Yankees, USC Trojans, Big Ten and Dallas Cowboy fan. And those of you know me, know how much I generally dislike those programs.

And then the real question dawned on me, why is she a star? Her claim to fame or being a star, which put her on the dancing show, was that she was basically a fame seeker who actually thought that fighting for the love of a single guy that she had never met before, whilst competing against a score of other famewhores was actually going to be a good idea.

And as a colossal shock, much like most of the other ’Bachelor’ and ’Bachelorette’ seasons, this relationship ended with the parties who proclaimed love for one another breaking up and finding out that a choreographed, filmed dating whirl of twenty or so people competing to get laid from one person might not be the best way to find love.

This makes her a star how? Oh, because she was on TV. Nobody ever does that anymore.

And I should care why? Oh, because she was proposed to and then dumped, or so I read. I really didn’t focus that much while looking at the words. I was kind of sleep deprived and possibly drooling at the time.

When I get engaged, if that were to happen, will I get my fifteen minutes of fame? I was on TV multiple times, several times in college and once while at TC. I did the play-by-play for the boys’ basketball team at the high school for like five years or so.

So that makes me a TV star because my voice and face gave joy to millions.

And, for two straight years, I was a member of the Champion Flight first place team in the Club Tournament and placed in several others over the years.

So that makes me a sports star because I won literally tens of dollars at the sport.

I am multi-talented.

But back to the point at hand.

I’ve gone a quite a few rants in my time, several of them either on here or to friends about this exact topic. Why are these people that don’t teach, write, act, play a game, practice medicine, do scientific research, govern, do blue collar work or any other potentially useful job even a blip on the radar for media outlets?

Because they happen to show up at a red carpet event every now and then? Because they were on a ‘reality’ show that is as much staged, re-filmed, and cut and edited to give drama where there might not be any as it is impromptu?

It is hypocritical of the media to at one moment bitch and moan that the Paris Hilton’s and Kim Kardashian’s of the world are always in the spotlight for having done only three things with their lives and those being release a sex tape, breathe and take pictures and then these same media people turn around the next moment and feel the need to inform the world that Melissa Rycroft is getting married. Again.

Have we, and by ’we’ I mean pretty most people that aren’t me, become that enamored with stars that anybody who appears on television for more than one minute is now considered to be news worthy? Then dammit, where are my fifteen minutes.

I’m sure that Melissa and I’m guessing Dirk McMetrobighugeswarthy are very happy together. Great for them. But every day people all over the world get engaged, people that save lives or teach lives or do charity work or something else noble. People that are potentially helping to build something in this world. Not people that mugged, cried, flirted, batted their eyes and trashied themselves out for a television show and then parlayed that into dancing for another shitbucket show so their fifteen of burning brightly wouldn’t peeter (I know it is spelled ‘peter’ but I didn’t want to use any form of my name in conjunction with this story) out like somebody taking a huge tinkle on a campfire to douse the flames.

I’m not going to comment on the timeline of the entire ordeal, from when she was dumped on television to when she became engaged again, because that would mean going into an entirely long spiel about the validity of the previous relationship, the current relationship, the institution of marriage and all sorts of other blah blah that I just don’t have the energy for right now.

I’m not here to judge these two people. I am in no position to judge anybody by any means. But I’m just here to question why we are even finding an article like this, about a person that has done two, count ‘em two, reality shows and the media tagged her with the ‘star‘ label. This is why I cancelled my cable and now only watch about three TV shows and ignore most everything else.

So, again, somebody tell me why this is news?

End of that rant…

And on a completely unrelated note, my favorite science website in this crazy ‘verse, had another great article today. The point of the article?

Women don’t always agree on what makes a man hot. Which is good news for all you ugly guys out there. I’m telling you there’s a chance. For those fortunate dashingly attractive people out there, such as myself, we just need to learn that some women will take pity on you fuglies out there rather than go for us.

It is also quite possible that I should be encouraged by this article because I also fall into the fugly category. Anyway, not for me to judge. Here is the link, read and enjoy. Plus, there are some pretty good hyperlinks on the page that will give you some other fun articles to read.
http://www.livescience.com/culture/090630-hot-or-not.html

They also posted an article of the Michael Jackson Conspiracy theories. Oh, read that one. It is a doozy. Nothing says ‘fun’ like when a real celebrity dies and people automatically begin concocting stories about what really happened. And let it be known that these kinds of theories are not the same as scientific theories. Trust me on this. Read what defines a scientific theory and what defines an everyday theory. I don’t have the time to type all of that here. I’m tired. But that doesn’t mean that I won’t have some fun with this concept. As it stands, I may have to contribute a few of my own down the road.
http://www.livescience.com/strangenews/090629-michael-jackson-conspiracy-theories.html

And finally, for your reading pleasure, I will only give you the title and then the link. It is special.
Half of Americans Use Vibrators, Study Claims. That…is…awesome.
http://www.livescience.com/health/090629-vibrator-use.html

Man, I love that website.

This is Pete…

Over and out.