Today is video game day…but I lost my list of favorite N64 games so I’ll have to re-do that and get around to it later this week.

What I want to do today is discuss a few older films, and by older I mean things I saw when I was growing up that at the time seemed pretty cool.

And what amazed me was how bad these films really were. I’m talking total stink bombs that barely even made me giggle on a subsequent viewing in my later years.

I might take a bit of abuse for two of them from a few of my friends that might still hold these films in very high regard, but I’m okay with that. Because they are wrong and I am right. And they know it.

First off…

Wildcats
Several dozen posts back I might have mentioned this film as having a special place in my heart from my formative years. And it still does. If only because I can recall watching this movie in the basement of a friend’s house almost on a weekly basis, like some sort of weird ritual. And we would guzzle cans of Mountain Dew and eating pizzas for hours (we had high metabolism so we could away with that) while we watched this film, then called girls and ran around the streets like idiots.

So the film does hold some nostalgic allure for me.

Then I saw it again the other night for the first time in many a year.

And it was insanely stupid.

Where to begin?

Let us start with the football action itself. So badly choreographed and filmed that it almost defies logic. Players change races in the middle of scenes. Players execute their plays and look one way. The same player then takes off his helmet and his body type is completely different. There practice routine resembles something more from a movie like ‘Bring It On,’ ‘Footloose’ or some other inane dance oriented movie.

After watching the montage of Goldie Hawn putting football players through the course of their drills, I almost coughed to death on an Altoid (even though they are curiously strong, it wasn’t because of that) as I watched what seemed to be an audition to be a Chippendales dancer.

It kind of reminded me of this…sorry for the quality…but it still reminded me of this…


Or it was actually like this…

Pay particular close attention to the stretching routines they do. What…the…hell…is…that? How freaking stupid was that? I can’t even begin to explain what would have happened at any football practice I have ever seen or been a part of had a coach done that. He/she/it/they probably would have been laughed off of the field and lost the respect of their players for ever. And ever. And…ever.

And there is a single coach in charge of all of those guys. Where were the rest of them when they were doing drills? This can’t be productive use of time when only one to three athletes are participating at a time. I’m irked at the total lack of constructive time useage these poor athletes are being subjected to.

But at least they can line dance.

Now, there are other points that I could mention that make this film utterly ridiculous but I shall refrain. I still want to keep the happy thoughts in my head from this film.

Real Genius
Val Kilmer was brilliant in this film. Absolutely hilarious. Any scene he was on his own in or hassling some poor professor were priceless back then and they still are now. I looked at myself after this film and said, you know what…this Val Kilmer character has the acting chops

And then there was his sidekick. Eesh. Double eesh. Triple Infinity eesh.

Actually, as I think about it, he might have been the main character that the story revolved around. I won’t make any rude comments his appearance, which was less than manly, but I will comment that he achieved levels of whining and crying that have only been seen when Dakota Fanning is on screen. His voice and acting were like watching an elementary school class play?

He was also supposed to be 15 years old. Fifteen and he is a college student. Not unheard of. Some people are just smart like that.

But what disturbed me was that one of the female students, who was…special looking, took and shine to him and made out with him and presumably more.

Did I mention he was fifteen? So basically this movie was encouraging underage groping. I’m not saying…I’m just saying.

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Anyway…those were just a couple of films that I saw when young and thought they ruled. Now I’ve seen them again and can’t believe how much of a sheep that I was.

What did I miss? What would you add? Let me hear the thoughts.

This is Pete…

Over and out.