This morning I heard an interesting little tidbit on the radio…

You can buy service plans for recently purchased shoes at a certain chain of stores, a chain of stores that I unfortunately did not hear. You can get coverage over color fading, sole wear and tear and other such problems.

Now, since I don’t have TV and get all of my information from friends, the Interweb and the radio which means this is news to me. I’m not sure if it is to you or not but I had to scratch my head for a moment after hearing this.

Does this cover broken shoelaces? Frayed shoelaces? Broken shoelace eyelets? The smell of freshly stepped in dog crap? This is information I need to have. I am generally brutal on shoes and being able to get a service plan would be a nice little perk in life.

Anyway…

This weekend commence another weekend of college football as well as seeing the rest of the football world, the NFL, join the party. Finally, we can stop even pretending that we care they are playing baseball.

And since we have another football weekend upon us, I shall be making a few ‘FEARLESS FRIDAY FORECASTS.’

Here we go…

Duke will cancel their football season after they are crushed by Army on Saturday. Either that or they will scrimmage their basketball team in a game of football, in an attempt to gain some confidence. And they will lose that game as well.

The announcers in the Florida/Troy game will reference Tim Tebow and his worldly endeavors 798 times and mention that he is the greatest college football player in history at least 135, thus causing Charlie Ward, Doug Flutie, Barry Sanders, Tommie Frazier, and many other decorated former college football players to pile in a Winnebago, drive to Gainesville and take over the booth by punting the announcers into the stands.

The winner of the Notre Dame/Michigan game will automatically jump into the top 10. Because Lee Corso waved his pencil (a real pencil, not the other one) menacingly and Lou Holtz thed tho.

UCLA/Tennessee will feature more shots of the dueling tool coaches than all of the players combined. And the over/under on the number of shots of Lane Kiffin’s wife is 48. But I’m not going to complain about that.

In the Bowling Green/Missouri game, Blaine Gabbert will make one play that causes one announcer to spontaneously make up adjective about how incredible the play was and that he will challenge Colt McCoy for all league honors. Even though the play was fairly routine and the Missouri fans forgot what a real quarterback looked like after having a short, fat kid for their quarterback the past few years.

ESPN will sportsgasm from the USC/Ohio State game so viciously that all televisions will short out for 24 hours. As for the game itself, the announcers will reference Ohio State’s ineptitude against big time opponents no less than 56 times and provide seven different graphics and 14 different highlight packages of sluggish Ohio State defenders chasing faster players. And then, for some reason, be it fate or karma, Ohio State will win the game and ESPN personalities will be leg humping each other non-stop for a week (because they love them some Big Ten) while Petros Papadakis and the rest of the Fox Sports Radio guys that love USC will repeatedly ram their heads in the wall in abject sadness.

Northern Arizona and Arizona will also be dueling. I have no real reason to mention this game except for the chance to mention that the mascot of Northern Arizona is the Lumberjacks. Which gives me the chance to mention things like ‘chopping down some wood.’ As for the game itself, it may set offensive football back a century.

Colorado will continue their streak of utter and complete sucknormosity in their game against Toledo. Thus setting the stage for a ten game winning streak for the Buffaloes to end the season, therefore meeting the prediction that Dan Hawkins made before the season. At least for a week as they beat Wyoming and only until they are unceremoniously destroyed by West Virginia, Texas and Kansas.

Finally, in the North Carolina/Connecticut (Uconn) game, the announcers will make 19 comments about what a great basketball match-up this game would be if the teams met on the court, either men or women.

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There are my fearless picks for the weekend.

And as an added bonus, here are a few more dealing with the Huskers…

Roy Helu Jr. will have a couple of runs that will cause Kent Pavelka to use his name in the same light as Mike Rozier, Ahman Green and Lawrence Phillips.

Zac Lee will continue to improve and make some plays that will get people all sorts of tingly thinking that we have the next great Big XII quarterback. And yet, Cody Green will enter in the fourth quarter, make one huge play and Nebraska newspaper columnists will be inundated with emails from those same people tingly over Zac Lee claiming that Green should be starting right now.

Ndamukong Suh will hurl a lineman for Arkansas State into the crowd during a pass rush. And then eat all of his back-ups in a gesture of dominance.

Matt O’Hanlon blows up a receiver with a huge hit. Like a Jason Statham delivering a roundhouse kick and rendering a person headless, O’Hanlon will destroy some poor sap on a crossing route. Write it down.

Bo Pelini will chew a piece of gum so hard that the pressure on the molecules of the gum will actually become the first physical evidence of cold fusion.

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And I’m spent. Enjoy your weekend, whatever that might entail.

This is Pete…

Over and out.